Fishing jokes wanted

[MBLMIKE]

A young zealous boy wanted desperately to work at a department store. He approached the store manager who responded they needed no help. Quite persistent, the boy returned again and again until the manager finally said "We're having a holiday sale tomorrow. Why don't you show up and you can give it a try." The elated boy returned the following day and proceeded to sell. At the end of the day the store manager called the youngster over and asked how he had done. The boy responded that he had sold $79,083.50 worth of merchandise. The manager asked how he had done so well. The young man said, "Well this guy was going fishing so I asked if he wanted some fish hooks, he said sure, That's $1.50. I asked if he had a nice fishing pole, he said no, so I got a graphite extension pole for $43.50. Do you have a nice reel, not yet replied the customer... so I got him a nice quick release reel for $35.00. I asked where he was going fishing and he said Strawberry Reservior. I told him the best places to catch fish are near the center, "Do you have a boat?" The man said he didn't so I set him up with a nice outboard 30 foot cruiser for $28,000.00. Then I asked if he had a trailer. He didn't, so I got him a double axle trailer for $3,000.00. Then I asked what he had to tow the boat. He only had a station wagon, so I told him that just wouldn't do, but we could get him a nice fully loaded Dodge Ram dually, racked and packed with a tow package, trailer hitch and everything for $48,000.00. He wanted it all." As you can imagine the store manager was astounded. "And to think it all began with that man asking for a package of fish hooks?" The boy replied, "Oh no, it all began with him asking for some tampons which were $3.50, so I replied, "Well you aren't going to be doing much else this weekend, you might as well go fishing!"

[MBLMIKE]

A fish goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation. Patti looks at the fish in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow. The fish says $30,000. The teller asks his name and the fish says that his name is Rainbow Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral. The fish says, "Sure, I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain fly rod and reel, about an inch long; detailed and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, "There's a fish named Rainbow Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. And he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny rod & reel. "I mean, what the heck is this??" The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick-knack, Patti Whack. Give the fish a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

[Madd Matt]

Not too long ago I was down at the docks cleaning a cooler full of fish, 2 "Fish Ohio" and none of the rest under 20". Three generations of my family where represented with myself, my father and my grandfather (92 years old) and still cleaning fish... He's kinda slow according to Skipper 9 though.

This older gentleman pulled up on a golf cart and was quite impressed. He went through the usual questions (where did you fish, what color, etc...) then he asked, "Where you trolling or drifting."

I knew where he was headed so I politely acted busy and ignored him. My Father told him we were trolling. Of course the old man proceeds to tell my father and grandfather about how our fish didn't really count, and how we didn't "really" catch them... At one point I did turn around and ask him, "Have you "ever" tried trolling?" To which he quickly replied, "Nope! and I never will!"

This is all the typical blah... blah... blah between the two conversations.

Then my grandfather (who also hates to troll and complains each year that we do because for the last 75 years he has drift fished Lake Erie) says to the guy,

"I'm with you! I'd rather drift fish any day of the week, but I can't get my son and grandson to agree. This trolling business is for the birds! You have to know too much, work too hard, and figure out all your depths and systems. It's too complicated. They are constantly working to maintain exact speed and depths and turning. I'd rather drift! You don't have to know anything or do anything, just throw your bait out there and leave it or reel it in. You don't have to know anything or "work" at catching fish... You may not catch fish, or you might catch bigger fish trolling, but you don't have to know what your doing to drift or cast any idiot can do it!"

My grandfather was completely serious and believes every word. The old guy thought that my 92 year old grandfather was insulting him and left without saying a word.

To this day my grandfather thinks that he and the old guy agreed!

When you are 92 you can get away with saying just about anything!

-Maybe not a joke, but a true story... and it's funny (regardless of whether you drift or troll)

[MBLMIKE]

Just say all fisherman are liars except me and you and Im not so sure about you!

[Walleye_Rick]

What does a fish say when it runs into a wall? DAM! My Grandchildren got a kick out of that one as they could say a 'naughty' word and not get in trouble with Mom and Dad

[MBLMIKE]

If a turtle looses its shell is he naked or homeless ?

[MBLMIKE]

What do you call a fish with no eye ?
FSH !