Fishing jokes wanted

[MBLMIKE]

A fish goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation. Patti looks at the fish in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow. The fish says $30,000. The teller asks his name and the fish says that his name is Rainbow Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral. The fish says, "Sure, I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain fly rod and reel, about an inch long; detailed and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, "There's a fish named Rainbow Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. And he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny rod & reel. "I mean, what the heck is this??" The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick-knack, Patti Whack. Give the fish a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

[Madd Matt]

Not too long ago I was down at the docks cleaning a cooler full of fish, 2 "Fish Ohio" and none of the rest under 20". Three generations of my family where represented with myself, my father and my grandfather (92 years old) and still cleaning fish... He's kinda slow according to Skipper 9 though.

This older gentleman pulled up on a golf cart and was quite impressed. He went through the usual questions (where did you fish, what color, etc...) then he asked, "Where you trolling or drifting."

I knew where he was headed so I politely acted busy and ignored him. My Father told him we were trolling. Of course the old man proceeds to tell my father and grandfather about how our fish didn't really count, and how we didn't "really" catch them... At one point I did turn around and ask him, "Have you "ever" tried trolling?" To which he quickly replied, "Nope! and I never will!"

This is all the typical blah... blah... blah between the two conversations.

Then my grandfather (who also hates to troll and complains each year that we do because for the last 75 years he has drift fished Lake Erie) says to the guy,

"I'm with you! I'd rather drift fish any day of the week, but I can't get my son and grandson to agree. This trolling business is for the birds! You have to know too much, work too hard, and figure out all your depths and systems. It's too complicated. They are constantly working to maintain exact speed and depths and turning. I'd rather drift! You don't have to know anything or do anything, just throw your bait out there and leave it or reel it in. You don't have to know anything or "work" at catching fish... You may not catch fish, or you might catch bigger fish trolling, but you don't have to know what your doing to drift or cast any idiot can do it!"

My grandfather was completely serious and believes every word. The old guy thought that my 92 year old grandfather was insulting him and left without saying a word.

To this day my grandfather thinks that he and the old guy agreed!

When you are 92 you can get away with saying just about anything!

-Maybe not a joke, but a true story... and it's funny (regardless of whether you drift or troll)

[MBLMIKE]

Just say all fisherman are liars except me and you and Im not so sure about you!

[Walleye_Rick]

What does a fish say when it runs into a wall? DAM! My Grandchildren got a kick out of that one as they could say a 'naughty' word and not get in trouble with Mom and Dad

[MBLMIKE]

If a turtle looses its shell is he naked or homeless ?

[MBLMIKE]

What do you call a fish with no eye ?
FSH !

[MBLMIKE]

This is not a fishing joke but here it is any way
A young woman was pulled over by an Oregon state trooper
as he aproached the car he pulled out his ticket book to write the young lady a ticket
She said to him in her best sarcastic voice " I guess your going to sell me a ticket to the Oregon State Troopers Ball " ?
The Trooper said in an equally sarcastic voice "Oregon State Troopers Dont Have Balls ! "
after a moment the Trooper tiped his hat and let her go .