Fishing jokes wanted

[MBLMIKE]

A fish goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation. Patti looks at the fish in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow. The fish says $30,000. The teller asks his name and the fish says that his name is Rainbow Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral. The fish says, "Sure, I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain fly rod and reel, about an inch long; detailed and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, "There's a fish named Rainbow Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. And he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny rod & reel. "I mean, what the heck is this??" The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick-knack, Patti Whack. Give the fish a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

[Madd Matt]

Not too long ago I was down at the docks cleaning a cooler full of fish, 2 "Fish Ohio" and none of the rest under 20". Three generations of my family where represented with myself, my father and my grandfather (92 years old) and still cleaning fish... He's kinda slow according to Skipper 9 though.

This older gentleman pulled up on a golf cart and was quite impressed. He went through the usual questions (where did you fish, what color, etc...) then he asked, "Where you trolling or drifting."

I knew where he was headed so I politely acted busy and ignored him. My Father told him we were trolling. Of course the old man proceeds to tell my father and grandfather about how our fish didn't really count, and how we didn't "really" catch them... At one point I did turn around and ask him, "Have you "ever" tried trolling?" To which he quickly replied, "Nope! and I never will!"

This is all the typical blah... blah... blah between the two conversations.

Then my grandfather (who also hates to troll and complains each year that we do because for the last 75 years he has drift fished Lake Erie) says to the guy,

"I'm with you! I'd rather drift fish any day of the week, but I can't get my son and grandson to agree. This trolling business is for the birds! You have to know too much, work too hard, and figure out all your depths and systems. It's too complicated. They are constantly working to maintain exact speed and depths and turning. I'd rather drift! You don't have to know anything or do anything, just throw your bait out there and leave it or reel it in. You don't have to know anything or "work" at catching fish... You may not catch fish, or you might catch bigger fish trolling, but you don't have to know what your doing to drift or cast any idiot can do it!"

My grandfather was completely serious and believes every word. The old guy thought that my 92 year old grandfather was insulting him and left without saying a word.

To this day my grandfather thinks that he and the old guy agreed!

When you are 92 you can get away with saying just about anything!

-Maybe not a joke, but a true story... and it's funny (regardless of whether you drift or troll)

[MBLMIKE]

Just say all fisherman are liars except me and you and Im not so sure about you!

[Walleye_Rick]

What does a fish say when it runs into a wall? DAM! My Grandchildren got a kick out of that one as they could say a 'naughty' word and not get in trouble with Mom and Dad

[MBLMIKE]

If a turtle looses its shell is he naked or homeless ?

[MBLMIKE]

What do you call a fish with no eye ?
FSH !

[MBLMIKE]

This is not a fishing joke but here it is any way
A young woman was pulled over by an Oregon state trooper
as he aproached the car he pulled out his ticket book to write the young lady a ticket
She said to him in her best sarcastic voice " I guess your going to sell me a ticket to the Oregon State Troopers Ball " ?
The Trooper said in an equally sarcastic voice "Oregon State Troopers Dont Have Balls ! "
after a moment the Trooper tiped his hat and let her go .

[FishOn205]

Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge.
One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across the bridge. He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head. The procession crosses the bridge and the man puts on his cap, picks up his rod and reel, and continues fishing. The other guy says, "That was touching. I didn't know you had it in you." The first guy responds, "Well, I guess it was the thing to do - after all, I was married to her for 40 years.

[fishnfunaddict]

Four guys have been going on the same fishin trip 4 years.2 days be4 the group is 2 leave,sams wife puts her foot down and tells him he isnt going.sams fishin mates r very upset that he cant go,but what can they do?Two days later,the three get to the camping site to find sam sitting there with a tent set up,firewood gathered, dinner cooking on the fire,and having a cold beer. Crap sam how long have you been here? how did you talk your misses into letting you go? Well ive been here since last night.Yesterday evening i was sitting in my livingroom chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and asked guess who?Ipulled her hands off and there she was, wearing a sheer nightie. She took my hand and pulled me into our bedroom.The bedroom had candles and rosepedals all over. Well shes been reading that book, 50 shades of gray.On the bed she had handcuffs and ropes! She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, so i did. And then she said Do whatever you want. So here i am!

[Jay rock]

The ohio dnr is working on cross breeding a coho salmon for the fight, a walleye for the taste, and a musky for the ferociousness. It will be called a CO WALL SKI but the the dam thing is so dumb it keeps forgetting to breathe. JUST KIDDING NO POLLOCKS WERE HARMED IN THE TELLING OF THIS JOKE.