Fishing jokes wanted

[MBLMIKE]

Bill and Frank rent a boat and go fishing. They catch a lot of fish and return to the shore. Bill says to the Frank, "I hope you marked the spot where we caught all those fish." Frank replies, "Yes, I marked an 'X' on the side of the boat to mark the spot." Bill says to Frank sharply, "You idiot. How do you know we'll get the same boat?"

[Gettin Jiggy]

A man calls his wife and tells her to get his stuff ready he is going on a weekend fishing trip. So the wife has all his gear,rods, and bags packed when he gets home. He returns from the trip and he ask his wife why she didn't pack his favorite pj's she replied I did I put them in your tackle box!

[Dr.Ed]

A few years back my son and I returned home simultaniously from our separate outings, he from the golf course and me from the lake. He had broken par and I had a limit of walleye. We got into a rather lengthy discussion about which sport was better and who really had the most fun. I ended the discussion rather abruptly by asking him this pointed question. "Tell me son, how do you prepare your birdies?"

[Fish Tales]

One day a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie."Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want. "So, he tied her up and went fishing.

Pleasure is where you find it


Fish Tales

[rsfrail]

I think Jim could manage a couple things with his motavation and stories I've been hearing....Now Kevin...If that **** happened to me, I probabally say Im fishing- then goto the Bay!

[MBLMIKE]

A woman goes into a shop to buy a rod and reel as a gift

She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter where there's a shop assistant wearing dark shades. "Excuse me sir" she says "can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"

The assistant replies "Ma'am I'm blind but if you drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound it makes."

She didn't believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway.

He said, "That's a 6' graphite rod with a Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line...It's a good all around rod and reel and it's only $20.00".

The lady said, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for so I'll take it."

He walks behind the counter to the register, and in the meantime the woman breaks wind big-time. At first she is embarrassed but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was her...being blind he wouldn't know that she was the only person around.

The assistant rings up the sale and says, "That will be $25.50."

She says, "But didn't you say it was $20.00?"

"Yes ma'am, the rod and reel is $20.00, but the duck call is $3.00, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50."

[Hoss928]

If a man falls overboard, you holler " Man overboard".
If a woman falls overboard, what do you holler ???
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"Full Speed Ahead !!!"

[24ft Proline]

Two old ladies always fished same spot at river everyday to catch supper. The one lady always caught fish and other never caught much! The lady asks what is your secret to catching so many fish!She replies when i wake in morning i see which way my old mans **** is laying, if left I cast left if right I cast right . The other old lady looks at her and replies '' Oh, well what do you if its straight'' ! She replies ''I stay home''.

[MBLMIKE]

A young man and an old man were fishing on a pier.The young man started telling the old one that the night before he caught a trout that was over 3 1/2 foot long.

The old man replied "Oh yea, well I was here 2 nights ago and I hooked something huge. After a 30 minute fight I finaly got it up and it was an old lantern and the thing was still lit."

The young man said "Your lying. I can't believe that."

Then the old man said "I'll tell you what, you knock a couple of feet off your trout and I'll blow out my lantern."

[MBLMIKE]

A young zealous boy wanted desperately to work at a department store. He approached the store manager who responded they needed no help. Quite persistent, the boy returned again and again until the manager finally said "We're having a holiday sale tomorrow. Why don't you show up and you can give it a try." The elated boy returned the following day and proceeded to sell. At the end of the day the store manager called the youngster over and asked how he had done. The boy responded that he had sold $79,083.50 worth of merchandise. The manager asked how he had done so well. The young man said, "Well this guy was going fishing so I asked if he wanted some fish hooks, he said sure, That's $1.50. I asked if he had a nice fishing pole, he said no, so I got a graphite extension pole for $43.50. Do you have a nice reel, not yet replied the customer... so I got him a nice quick release reel for $35.00. I asked where he was going fishing and he said Strawberry Reservior. I told him the best places to catch fish are near the center, "Do you have a boat?" The man said he didn't so I set him up with a nice outboard 30 foot cruiser for $28,000.00. Then I asked if he had a trailer. He didn't, so I got him a double axle trailer for $3,000.00. Then I asked what he had to tow the boat. He only had a station wagon, so I told him that just wouldn't do, but we could get him a nice fully loaded Dodge Ram dually, racked and packed with a tow package, trailer hitch and everything for $48,000.00. He wanted it all." As you can imagine the store manager was astounded. "And to think it all began with that man asking for a package of fish hooks?" The boy replied, "Oh no, it all began with him asking for some tampons which were $3.50, so I replied, "Well you aren't going to be doing much else this weekend, you might as well go fishing!"